


In Pieces

by whitetigerlittledeer



Category: NU'EST, Produce 101 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Friendship, M/M, Might have some ships if you squint, Was very painful to write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-09
Updated: 2017-11-16
Packaged: 2019-01-30 17:52:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12658485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whitetigerlittledeer/pseuds/whitetigerlittledeer
Summary: This is a story of Nu'ests life before, during, after pd101, told in pieces.





	1. Kim Jonghyun, JR

**Author's Note:**

> This fic will be spread to 5 chapters, each chapter with a members POV in different stages of their career. The timelines differ and overlap, but minhyun's the only one that goes to the future to 2019. Like the title, this fic is told in pieces, so sorry for the excess scrolling. It was painful to write this haahhaha hope you guys enjoy :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a fic I wrote while feeling down because of life. I thought of how Nu'est felt throughout their career and suddenly my problems felt so small. This is for all the LOVEs that feels like giving up, I just want to remind you that Nu'est never did :)  
> WARNING: It's based purely on friendship and my imagination. Happy reading :)

Kim Jonghyun, JR

 

"They're such a failure."

  
  
"Did you hear? Their recent comeback debuted at #454 on the charts!"

  
  
"Even their dongsaengs are more successful than them, they must be embarassed"

  
  
I am.

 

I'm embarrassed that we're the black sheep of the family.

 

I'm embarrassed that every time we perform on stage all we get is blank stares from the audience.

  
  
I'm embarrassed that my own mother didn't know that I released a new song.

  
  
"Ahh my son, when you go to Seoul and hit big, you'll be a gangneung pride! You'll be so famous!"

 

Gangneung pride?

  
  
No one cares about us.

  
  
Famous?

  
  
Even rookies get more attention.

  
  
When other groups go on a hiatus, they'll worry that the public will forget them.

 

“We can't go on hiatus! We'll comeback unknown!"

  
  
Being forgotten, is the only thing jonghyun had ever known.

 

* * *

 

Their comeback yielded worse results than jonghyun expected.

  
_Fuck._

  
  
_No._

  
  
Love Paint was supposed to be their breakthrough album  
  
  
(Just like all their past comebacks were supposed to be their breakthrough album)

  
  
He couldn't even bear to look at Baekho

  
  
The one that spent blood sweat tears on this album

  
  
(They all did, but the one who stayed up most nights, spent the most time was definitely him)

  
  
He wanted to comfort him

 

But really, how do you comfort someone on things like this?

  
  
But then, baekho-

  
  
_Fucking baekho-_

  
  
Met his eyes and

  
  
_"I'm sorry I failed"_

  
Left his mouth like a _curse_

 

Jonghyun wanted to scream.

  
  
_I should be the one saying sorry!_

  
_  
It was me!_

  
_  
I led you guys to failure!_

  
_  
I couldn't do anything when the company sent us to japan!_

 

_I should've asked the company to promote us better!_

 

_I should’ve fought harder! It’s my responsibility!_

 

But then Minki-

 

“I’m sorry too.”

 

_Stop_

 

Minhyun-

 

“Mianhae jju-ya”

 

Aron-

 

“I’m also sorry, I ruined everything”

 

_Fucking stop._

 

_Minki you’re the most well known member of the group_

 

_Minhyun you got featured in a song_

 

_Aron-_

 

_Hyung you’ve apologised so many times already we all know how much you sacrificed to come to korea._

 

But all JR could say was

 

_“I’m sorry I failed as your leader.”_

 

* * *

 

“We are sending the four of you to Produce 101 season 2”

 

Those words felt like a punch in the gut.

 

“It’s your last chance”

 

_Shit._

 

Inside of him, a small, desperate part of him was relieved.

 

Anything. He’d do anything to get his members out of this _hellhole_.

 

But. To go back to being called _trainees_.

 

He glanced at his members.

 

_Baekho_

 

Everyone knows Baekho has the largest pride and ego

 

He’s a composer for gods sake.

 

“6 years idols to trainees? Will we call ourselves 7 year trainees?” Baekho joked

 

“Yes”

 

That made the room colder.

 

“You guys understand why you need to try your best right?”

 

Of course they did

 

All of them could already see the end.

 

* * *

 

 _I’m tired_. Jonghyun thinks.

 

Whispers flood around them

 

“Cheater”

 

“They should just disband”

 

“Coming on this show won’t save them”

 

“I hope I’ll never be like them”

 

Jonghyun looks at them.

 

They quiet.

 

He smiles.

 

_“I hope you don’t become like me too”_

 

* * *

 

 

It get easier as the show goes on.

 

He’s liked by the public.

 

It’s because he pitied that YG model.

 

“I feel like giving up”

 

He said before, that model.

 

Jonghyun felt like laughing.

 

_Boy, you don’t know shit about feeling like giving up._

 

So he believed in him.

 

And he delivered.

 

For once, looking at that trainee,

 

He felt proud of himself.

 

Now _that_ was a feeling he doesn’t feel very often.

 

And when he got 1st Place,

 

He was so happy

 

So this is what it feels like.

 

Getting first place.

 

_It’s nice._

 

* * *

 

As the Piano ver. of  Nayana played

 

Jonghyun was relieved.

 

It’s over.

 

It’s finally over.

 

But then

 

_Minhyun_

 

He’s gonna be away

 

Oh no.

 

_Is he crying? Don’t cry._

 

_Dongho and Minki_

 

Are they okay?

 

They’re hugging their kids

 

Wait- people are hugging me too.

 

Oh wait.

 

Aw guys.

 

Don't be upset.

 

My fans.

 

Don’t be too sad I lost.

 

I’ll come back

 

With Baekho and Minki and-

 

Aron

 

He must be waiting for us.

 

We’ll come back,

 

We’ll wait for minhyun.

 

_Yeah._

 

_Don’t Worry._

 

* * *

 

After Pd101 concert. Jonghyun’s first vlive.

 

Jonghyun hasn’t done this in forever.

 

Will they still remember me?

 

Jonghyun didn’t like that

 

Getting forgotten.

 

Staff signaled that the vilive started.

 

Jonghyun took a look at the number people watching.

 

Oh My God.

 

So many people.

 

He smiles

 

He didn’t have to worry after all.

 

“Sit up straight”

 

Read the first comment.

 

Yeah.

 

_I’ll sit up straight from now on._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be up tomorrow! It's our maknae's POV hehe


	2. Choi Minki, Ren

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I'm back! This is uri captain rabbit's POV. I love Ren. He's always so happy and bubbly but when I saw him crying when he couldn't perform on the stage my heart hurt. Because while we are grateful for those that make us happy, we tend to forget that they deserve happiness too.

 

Choi Minki, Ren

 

Ren knows he’s different.

 

If he somehow managed to forget,

 

Someone will remind him anyway.

 

“Is he a boy?”

 

“What is he thinking?”

 

“His parents must be ashamed of him”

 

It's none of their business

 

But

 

His parents his friends his family

 

_His members_

 

_His fans_

 

Accept him just fine,

 

_Bitch._

 

* * *

 

“Choi Minki, F”

 

I guess he kinda saw it coming.

 

His vocals were mediocre,

 

He couldn't learn the dance moves too.

 

(Although he did memorize Pick Me’s S1 performance quickly)

 

And plus because there are so many talented trainees

 

He kinda thinks he deserves it.

 

And he didn't mind being at the bottom as much.

 

Because that’s where he’s used to being

 

The bottom has always been his home.

 

* * *

  
Looking at the trainees with sad faces on

 

Just because of a freaking F label

 

_I gotta motivate them_

 

Labels don’t mean a thing.

 

He’d know.

 

So even though he’s a hyung to most of them

 

He does aegyo

 

He does silly stuff

 

He even does his Lady Gaga impression.

 

And in no time the mood is lifted.

 

Everyone is laughing again.

 

The trainees might wonder how he’s so good

 

Good at doing just the right thing to lift the mood

 

It's because he's the maknae of his group.

 

He’s experienced.

  
  
His group has been through bad times

  
  
_Too many bad times_

  
  
And Ren is always the one to cheer them up.

 

Ren also makes an effort to cheer his fans up too.

 

He supposes the ability to make people around him smile is a gift

  
  
But sometimes,

 

He tends to forget that he deserves to be happy too.

 

* * *

  
Minki can’t believe he cried

 

His members couldn’t believe it too.

 

“Minki-ya are you okay”

 

“Minki did someone say something to you?”

 

“I’m gonna beat the ass up of the person that made you cry”

 

_I’m fine guys_

_I guess I just really wanted to be onstage._

_It’s where we belong right?_

 

The members couldn’t say anything

 

They didn’t have to.

 

A group hug away from his those hideous cameras was enough.

 

* * *

 

Minki was content.

 

He wasn’t like happy

 

But he was satisfied with where he was now.

 

He survived eliminations

 

And is actually ranked higher than he thought he would rank

 

(Because Mnet didn’t show _any_ footage of him, he’s pissed)

 

And now has little dongsaengs that look up to him

 

And cheer him up too

 

I mean he has his Seventeen dongsaengs

 

But never in a team

 

They look to him  so much for assurance and guidance

 

He laughs again as hyeongseop tells a joke

 

But he also worries for his kids

 

_Maybe I should’ve given my center to jihoon_

 

_Oh no are they eating enough?_

 

_Jinyoung is straining his voice_

 

After worrying about his kids every five minutes

 

He thought

 

Oh,

 

This is what it feels like

 

To be a hyung.

 

* * *

  
After Oh Little Girl’s stage

 

His members confronted him

 

“Minki-ya are you eating well?”

 

“Yes”

 

_No_

 

“What did you eat?”

 

“I already forgot hahahahaah”

 

_Nothing_

 

“....Okay but please don’t diet again Minki-ya, you looked ghostly”

 

“Okay”

 

_I’m sorry for making you guys worry_

 

I just-

 

I just don’t have the appetite

 

And

 

It’s going to end soon anyway

 

I’m going to be fine

 

I have to be.

 

But.

 

You guys are doing so well.

 

I'm sorry I couldn't join you guys at the top

 

I guess it's my problem.

 

* * *

 

My kids.

 

Why didn’t they pass?

 

They are so talented

 

So pure

 

Oh no

 

He now knows how JR feels like

 

When the five of them failed

 

Except because he passed and they didn’t

 

So it’s worse

 

Much much worse

 

“Minki-hyung, thanks for guiding us!”

 

It’s nothing kiddos

 

I’ll be anticipating your debuts in the future

 

Hwaiting.

 

I’m sorry I wasn’t a better hyung.

 

* * *

 

After all the final rankings were announced,

 

Minki felt empty

 

It’s over.

 

He felt strong holding onto Baekho’ and Jonghyun’s hand looking at Minhyun

 

They’ll make him proud

 

Minhyun.

 

He’ll come back to a great group in 2019

 

Our job here is done.

 

All they have to do now is wait for the results of their hard work.

 

LOVEs, I’m coming

 

_I missed you._

 

* * *

 

Minki cried again

 

But this time he’s happy

 

He’s so fucking happy

 

NU’EST W - IF YOU

 

DEBUT #4

 

He ran to the other member’s rooms

 

“GUYS GO LOOK AT THE CHARTS”

 

But looks like all of them already did

 

Jonghyun was crying too

 

Another group hug is needed

 

_Finally we’re not at the bottom_

 

_It’s so high_

 

“It’s really a turning point for us huh?” said Baekho

 

_Yeah._

 

_I suppose it is._

 

_Thank you LOVEs._

 

I'll find a way to repay you guys

 

_I love you._

 

* * *

 

_Hey LOVEs! I came to the fancafe to play!_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is Kang Dongho :)


	3. Kang Dongho, Baekho

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As all of you know Baekho had quite a hard time this year. I refuse to touch on one topic though as that is sensitive and I'll wait for pledis' response before I assume anything to be rational. As a baekho stan I had quite a hard time as well, because baekho can't really say that "2017 is the best year for me" like the other members and that's....so sad. I revised this alot of times so this chapter won't be as painful? as the other chapters except for one part only. I'm quite disappointed in myself in this chapter hahaha I'm sorry. It was really painful to write ahahahahahh so enjoy the 1837th version of this chapter. :)

Kang Dongho, Baekho

 

Baekho has always been a mess.

 

He looks all tough and strong outside

 

But

 

Inside he’s such a mess

 

That’s why he writes

 

It’s only on music sheets and lyrics

 

Where his feelings

 

His emotions

 

Shine.

 

* * *

 

I missed the note.

 

_Fuckfuckfuck_

 

I fucked up

 

_I never fuck up_

 

“Kang Dongho, D”

 

Just give me an F

 

Please.

 

Let the members go higher.

 

It’s all my fault

 

I’m sorry.

 

All four of them go up to their seats

 

“It’s okay Baekho-ya,we don’t blame you”

 

“Is your voice okay? I told you not to practice too much.”

 

“Hey smile a little you look so scary right now”

 

Baekho doesn’t care what other people think of him

 

Mnet can do their evil editing all they want

 

As long as my fans

 

My members

 

Know who I really am

 

Looking scary for awhile wouldn’t hurt.

 

Besides, how could you smile?

 

When you’ve sunked so low.

 

* * *

 

I’m hungry

 

He thinks as he goes over the choreography over and over again.

 

I hate this song.

 

They're doing a BTS song

 

Boy's in Luv

 

But then I guess it suits the team well

 

We manly af

 

They're up against a popular team

 

“The Avengers”

 

Trainees started saying that they don't stand a chance.

 

Baekho agrees at first

 

Compared to Team 1 they look like a band of uncles

 

But as they practice

 

And practice and practice and practice

 

He could start seeing team 1 get worried

 

And his team get better and more confident

 

Especially Guan Lin

 

Such a cute kid

 

So young

 

_Too young_

 

He was a trainee at his age too.

 

He imagined himself younger

 

So full of hope

 

The world full of promises

 

 

They were too young

 

Too naive

 

_All of them were._

 

* * *

 

 

“Team 2 FIGHTING!”

 

Most of the trainees were rooting for them.

 

It's time to show these kids

 

What a real performance is like

 

“I can't say that we'll win, but we’'ll give them a performance that make people think:

 

Oh? They lost? Why?”

 

Popularity isn't what makes you a star

 

Because he’d know

 

Popularity is fleeting

 

The hard part is keeping your popularity

 

As long as your attitude is right

 

You're desperate enough

 

You'll shine bright

 

So bright.

 

Right?

 

* * *

  
So they lost

 

But his team sure made an impact

 

Many netizens think that  they really did a better job

 

Reading these compliments

 

He smiled

 

You don’t get to read these things often

 

_Compliments._

 

“Yahhh Dongho hyung don't smile you look scaryyyy”

 

“Sexy Bandit! Return my heart to me pls!”

 

Joked some trainees

 

And he laughed

 

Damn it's been a long time since he last laughed

 

It's nice.

 

I guess you could bloom even in the darkest places.

 

* * *

 

Haknyeon says he can't do it

 

Bullshit

 

That's utter bullshit.

 

He knows people that confidently say they want to be center

 

Has the potential to be center

 

But the team decides to change center position

 

He sees the boy's expression

 

“Haknyeon ah do you want to be better?”

 

Nods

 

“Then train with me before the performance”

 

So he trains him.

 

Hard

 

Eventhough he should really be getting some rest.

 

When Haknyeon finally let's out  a note that's actually good

 

He hollers

 

He's so proud

 

Haknyeon’s happy too

 

During the recording haknyeon does even better

 

The members cheer

 

“Yah Dongho has such a fatherly smile on his face!”

 

He thanks him

 

"Thank you for believing in me"

 

_Nah son it's all you_

 

Baekho felt proud before

 

When he finished composing a masterpiece

 

Or after successfully dieting for 3 months

 

But he never felt proud for another person before

 

_I guess_

 

_I want to be a dad someday._

 

* * *

 

"Kang dongho 13th place"

 

Wow

 

He actually placed in front of JR

 

Mindfuck

 

(He stores this fact away to tease jr about it in the future)

 

But Minhyun-

 

Where is he

 

Wait

 

Are you-

 

_Crying?_

 

Hey you

 

I'm supposed to be the crybaby of the group

 

You told everyone that I was such a crier

 

Look at you now

 

Your handsome face is ruined

 

Look at me

 

_Why can't you look at me_

 

“Congratulations”

 

You've made it, my best friend.

 

He thinks back to the endless files of music in his laptop

 

I need to write again.

 

Maybe I’ll write a song for you too

 

LOVEs will wait for you

 

We all will.

 

* * *

 

Why

 

Why when life started looking up for me

 

It all just starts crashing down

 

All at once

 

Father…

 

I’m sorry I couldn’t visit you

 

I’m sorry I didn’t call more often

 

Why

 

Whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy

 

Why do I have to keep saying _goodbye_?

 

I’m sorry you only saw me at my worst

 

I’m sorry when you told our neighbours that I was a singer

 

All they replied was

 

“Really? I never heard of them”

 

I’m sorry you had to see me struggling on the show

 

And didn’t have a chance to see my best in the future.

 

His mom hugged him

 

Mom….

 

What are we going to do?

 

Mom…...

 

It’s okay to cry.

 

I’m crying too.

 

I’ll do much better than before

 

It must’ve been hard on you guys.

 

I’m sorry

 

We’ll get through this together.

 

I’ll come home more often

 

I love you.

 

* * *

  


Melon 12AM Realtime Chart

 

#1 WHERE YOU AT- NU’EST W

 

His members came running to him

 

“You did it Baekho ya! You finally did it!”

 

“Our fans loved it”

 

“Uri Music Producer-nim~”

 

Baekho cried

 

No.

 

_We finally did it_

 

_I’m thankful._

 

_Thank you for believing in me for all those years guys._

 

_Dad_

 

_Are you up there listening?_

 

I’ll continue writing

 

Let’s get more No.1 on the charts

 

LOVEs.

 

You’ll be there

 

_Right?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be Aron hyungs POV! Stay tuned :) Comments are always apprieciated!!!!


	4. Kwak Aron, Aron

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys this is the 2nd last chapter and It's meme king's Aron's turn! Even though he didn't go on Produce 101 he must've had It hard for him too. After all he was the member that cried the most on their first win! Y'ALL BETTER LOVE HIM IF NOT I'LL CUT YOU. We're reaching the end of the fic hahah I hope you guys enjoyed it!

 

Kwak Aron, Aron

 

Choosing this path was a mistake

 

Because that’s all Aron does

 

Mistake after mistake after mistake

 

“He should just go back to America”

 

He should

 

“How could he say such a thing”

 

I’m sorry

 

“Thank goodness he didn't get into pd101”

 

Thank god my knee is so bad I cry myself to sleep after every dance practice I guess.

 

And finally

 

“Nu’est is better off without him”

 

He thinks so too

 

But without Nu’est….

 

What is he?

  


* * *

 

Are my members eating alright?

 

Are they getting bullied there?

 

Dear National Producers,

 

Please give them lots of love.

 

They are my precious dongsaengs

 

My brothers

 

They work so hard

 

So hard

 

But they don't get what they want in return.

 

To be honest

 

I think that they’re going there

 

Because of what I did.

 

I'm sorry

 

I didn't mean it.

 

We were already at the bottom

 

But I managed to drag them down further.

 

I didn't understand it at first.

 

What being a “hyung” meant

 

But I understand it now.

 

I’'ll be better.

 

It's okay if you guys hate me

 

But please love them.

 

They are all I have.

 

I want them to be happy.

 

So please give them some attention

 

They're hidden gems covered in the filth of the industry.

 

You'll see.

 

One day they’'ll shine so bright.

 

Maybe they'll bring me out of here too

 

Away from this darkness.

 

Please.

 

* * *

 

After he heard what happened to the kids during audition.

 

_D?  They got class D?_

 

What the fuck

 

He never felt this much anger before.

 

_This is humiliating!_

 

_Get them out of there please!_

 

_PLEASE_

 

“You’re not in a place to say that, Aron”

 

“They agreed to go there.”

 

“They went there because they wanted to save the group”

 

“So you should be _grateful_.”

 

No.

 

How could I be grateful when they’re laying their _pride_ on a plate for netizens to crush?

 

How?

 

After their first day of shooting

 

When the kids came home

 

He hugged them

 

“Ya hyung why are you like that”

 

“Hyunggggg I can't breathe”

 

 _I’m sorry_ , he cried

 

I’m sorry you guys had to do this

 

I'm so sorry I can't be there with you guys.

 

I blame myself.

 

* * *

 

He watched the last episode live

 

He watched his kids go through hell in the past 10 episodes

 

He sure as hell can watch the last episode.

 

“Hwang Minhyun, 9th”

 

_Yes_

 

That means that at least 2 of them got in for sure

 

_Nu’est members gonna fail on this show my ass._

 

But as the winners get announced one by one.

 

Jonghyun’s name is still uncalled.

 

_What?_

 

_It can't be_

 

Jonghyun is 100% going to make it

 

_Right?_

 

But-

 

“14th place Kim Jonghyun”

 

“13th place Kang Dongho”

 

What.

 

What the hell is happening.

 

Minhyun is going to go there alone?

 

No.

 

He sees minhyun crying.

 

He feels like crying too.

 

He should’ve requested to go to the finale

 

Like Seungcheol.

 

He could’ve joined them onstage

 

He sees his members on screen hugging

 

I should be there too.

 

He looks at minhyun still crying hard

 

Silly boy

 

You’re finally going to shine so bright

 

Us?

 

We’ll figure it out

 

He’s going to miss that kid

 

A lot.

 

When all the members came back to their dorm

 

Tired from crying

 

He welcomes them with food

 

“You’ve worked hard, 아이들아”

 

I’m proud of you.

 

_Thank you._

 

* * *

 

“Why is he still in Nu’est?”

 

It’s happening again

 

“He should just leave no one likes him ㅋㅋㅋㅋ”

 

It hurts.

 

It hurts a lot

 

Is it true? That I’m bringing the group down?

 

I’m sorry

 

Sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry

 

I wonder when can I stop apologizing

 

Seventeen dongsaengs and my members already forgave me

 

When will they forgive me?

 

I’m an important member of Nu’est too you know

 

_Right?_

 

I’m not worthless

 

_Right?_

 

But then as time moves on

 

I think the cheers for me are getting louder

 

(Or is it only my imagination?)

 

I think I see more people holding up my banner

 

(Or did they hold up the wrong one?)

 

More camera lenses are pointed at me during concerts

 

(Or are they just focusing on Jrie behind me?)

 

Nevertheless

 

I’m thankful for LOVEs

 

They cheer for me even if I’m not their bias

 

And that’s enough

 

_That’s more than enough._

 

* * *

 

1st Place Nu’est W!

 

_What._

 

Is this real?

 

Or is this one of my many dreams where I wake up crying

 

Wait I’m already crying

 

It’s real

 

We won first place

 

We won

 

Finally

 

Everything was worth it

 

Tears couldn’t stop flowing

 

He was glad his members stayed together

 

Fought together

 

Oh my god

 

We really did it

 

His members sacrifice was worth it after all

 

And his suffering and pain in the past was paid off

 

Thank you

 

Uri loves

 

You finally can proudly call yourselves fans of a group that got first place

 

Proud to call yourself loves.

 

Keep your head up guys

 

You guys made a flower path possible

 

We’re going to walk on it now.

 

* * *

 

Nu’est W Taiwan Fanmeet

 

_It’s been a long time since I performed this song._

 

Let me tell you a story, the life of a kid

 

Los Angeles to Seoul, trying to make it big

 

Without a clue in the world, fame and money on my mind

 

Knew nothing about the hardships, the struggles, the grind

 

Rewind to ‘011, flight overseas

 

New chapter in my life, time for me to chase my dreams

 

Culture shock, hit me hard, givin up was taboo but

 

The people, the language, the lifestyle; too much to go through

 

_But I did. I did overcome it._

 

Blurred lines, couldn’t make up my mind

 

Thoughts like, “Damn. This just ain’t right.”

 

_It’s right._

 

_It’s always been right_

 

Overworked, underslept, oppressed, and possessed

 

I was against the odds, a vicious game of Russian roulette

 

_It was worth it_

 

Now I’m Standing on the stage gazing on to the crowd

 

They’re all chanting my name it seems so loud

 

_They are._

 

I wanna take a bow and thank you all for coming out

 

_For giving me a shoulder, that’s what L.O.Λ.E s about._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys Minhyun's POV is taking a taddddd longer than I thought so It might be posted on Tuesday! I 'll try to get it done by Monday but please be patient heh


	5. Hwang Minhyun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy:) I'm sorry it took so long. I'm not very happy with this chapter but I guess It's the best I could do.

Hwang Minhyun

 

“Kim Jonghyun, 14th”

 

“Kang Baekho, 13th”

 

What the fuck?

 

I'm alone?

 

What

 

No.

 

Minki, Dongho and Jonghyun…..

 

They're looking at me and smiling.

 

Why..

 

Why am I the only one to pass.

 

I'm so sorry

 

I'm sorry for passing alone

 

All of you deserve it more than me

 

How am I going to cope?

 

I was always with you guys

 

The 5 of us

 

Together

 

Forever

 

Does this mean-

 

I can't.

 

I can’t imagine spending so much time away from you guys

 

“Why are you crying”

 

I don’t know

 

I wanted to win

 

I wanted to win anything since the start

 

But now I realise

 

It doesn’t matter what I win

 

It means nothing if I win it all alone.

 

“Congratulations”

 

Is what the members tell him

 

The winner could only cry more tears.

 

He knows he shouldn't cry

 

Shouldn't cry tears of sadness but

 

This is the first time in his life

 

That he felt he would be happier if he lost.

 

* * *

 

“Hey”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Remember to eat well”

 

“You’'ll be so busy it'll be taxing on your body, rest when you can”

 

“Play well with the kids you’re their sunbae in a way”

 

“Text us when you have the chance”

 

“Hey guys”

 

“Yes Minhyun?”

 

“Take care of LOVEs when I’m gone”

 

“.....Sure.”

 

“I’ll miss you guys”

 

“.........We’'ll miss you too”

 

It was a tearful goodbye.

 

Afterall

 

They were always together

 

Since the start.

 

* * *

 

When Wanna one got first win

 

Everyone expected Minhyun to cry

 

It’s his first win after all

 

But he was fine

 

It’s different he told them

 

I’m happy

 

And touched but

 

_It’s different._

 

_Like how celebrating something with friends is different when celebrating with family._

 

_You’re genuinely enjoying yourself but_

 

_It’s just different._

 

_That’s it_

 

* * *

 

Practice practice practice

 

Schedule after schedule after schedule

 

 _Time is money_ he hears the manager say

 

_Yea and we are human_

 

_We need rest_

 

_We need to go to the hospital_

 

But he doesn't say anything cause

 

He learns to appreciate the packed schedules

 

The countless performances on stage

 

As he remembers

 

That there was a time where he couldn't do any of these things

 

So he pushes on

 

_I wonder_

 

_When will I break._

 

* * *

 

_This is the millionth time they asked us to dance nayana_

 

_Minhyun feels like puking._

 

_This is the 385th time jihoon does nae maum soge jeojang_

 

_This is the 42617th time daniel is doing the thigh sweep_

 

_Everything is so superficial_

 

_They've talked about it before_

 

_About how the image they used while on the show_

 

_They were trying to appeal to the national producers_

 

_But they didn’t realise they are now chained to this image like a slave._

 

_Always smiling always ready to entertain_

 

_They get so tired_

 

_But it’s what they wanted_

 

_It’s what they fought so hard for in the show_

 

_He does what he can to protect the young ones_

 

_Giving them more food_

 

_Arguing with the managers to please freaking let them sleep for 15 minutes_

 

_And guiding them when they need help._

 

_He’s seen all of the members cry in their dorm because_

 

_Sometimes_

 

_It’s just too much._

 

_But they have each other_

 

_And that makes it better._

 

_In a way, the show never ended._

 

_They just advanced to another round._

 

_And another_

 

_And another_

 

_And another._

 

* * *

 

His palms are slick with sweat.

 

_Shit hurry tf up_

 

His legs are shaking as he’s seated in the van heading to their next schedule

 

bounce.bounce.bounce

 

He has his phone in front of him.

 

_Highlight sunbaenim I love you but can this be over already_

 

He’s so nervous he feels like puking.

 

When he opened his gc an hour ago he almost fainted

 

_Baekho: Ey boy we got nominated on Mcountdown_

 

I mean

 

It’s not like it’s unexpected

 

His group’s new song did so well on the charts

 

So well

 

But still

 

He still had doubts

 

They all did.

 

He would've promoted the hell out of it if he could

 

But his fans

 

Wannables

 

He needs to respect them too.

 

_Finally_

 

It ended

 

“THEY'RE ANNOUNCING THE RESULTS”

 

Jaehwan hollers behind him

 

The whole w1 family is watching too

 

Afterall

 

All of them struggled together on the show together

 

“And the winner of this week’s Mcountdown is…”

 

His grip on the phone tightens

 

Pleasepleaseplease

 

He squishes his eyes shut

 

_I can’t look_

 

“NU’EST W!”

 

_“Congratulations!”_

 

_Yes._

 

_The whole van shakes when the members jump up to celebrate_

 

_They did it_

 

_They really did it_

 

_Oh My God_

 

He looks at his brothers standing like statues on the stage

 

_Jonghyun-ah you didn’t prepare a script did you?_

 

_Were you afraid to get your hopes high?_

 

_Aw_

 

_Aron-hyung_

 

_Why are you already crying?_

 

_Don’t cry_

 

_My heart hurts_

 

_Minki-ah_

 

_You can stop thanking loves now_

 

_They feel your heart_

 

_They understand_

 

_and_

 

_Baekho-ah_

 

_Congrats_

 

_No.1 producer_

 

_You did it._

 

His brothers called him on their way to a radio show

 

“Minhyun-ah we won first place!”

 

“Congrats guys!”

 

_“I can’t wait to win one with you guys too”_

 

_Soon._

 

It was only later when Mnet uploaded their full encore video

 

And backstage congratulatory vids

 

That Minhyun allowed himself to cry

 

The four of them were up onstage hugging and crying

 

_I’ll be there soon_

 

_Just wait._

 

* * *

 

So in W1 minhyun watched Nu’est W get their first win

 

_And many wins after that_

 

He watched them get their first award

 

_And many awards after that_

 

He watched them grow stronger and bigger

 

Minki kept his promise after all

 

He’s so proud.

 

So proud

 

But he’s been busy too

 

Countless awards, wins, sales

 

His group was legendary

 

But It’s time for the last dance.

 

_W1 Final ShowCon_

 

He goes over these moves that he might not get to dance again

 

Sings the lines he might never get to perform on stage again

 

And hugs his members

 

The people who he cheered cried and bled with for more than a year.

 

_“Wannables, Thank You and Goodnight!”_

 

The cheers were deafening.

 

_It’s over_

 

_I hope you guys would still support me in Nu’est_

 

_Because that’s where I’m heading_

 

_I’m going back to LOVEs_

 

_I’m coming back now._

 

_Sorry to keep you guys waiting._

 

_I’m finally going home._

 

And as he walks into his brothers embrace

 

The brothers that were waiting for him on the doorstep in the freezing January air

 

“Welcome back Minhyun-ah”

 

“We missed you”

 

_He knows_

 

_He’s home._

 

* * *

 

2019 January 1st Nu’est first vlive

 

Instead of 4,

 

There are 5.

 

_They are complete._

 

"1,2,3"

 

“Showtime! Nu’est Time!”

 

“Urban Electro Band”

 

“Nu’est simida!”

 

Annyeong LOVEs

 

_It’s been awhile_

 

:)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End. Thanks to everyone that read this and enjoyed it hahah It's been a wild ride. I'm not sure if I'm going to write a new series in this style, because I have a lot of irl commitments I need to take care of. I'll still write the Baekmin fic that I've been putting off for months, but I'll continue it out of pure adoration for the ship. ( In other words I'll update it whenever I feel like it HAHAHAHHAHA) I sincerely hope you guys enjoyed this fic, because I enjoyed writing it a lot. Cheers to the boys, Goodnight :)


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